I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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