I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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