none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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