Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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