I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
