Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
