so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
