You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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