I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
