He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i out mim tonsoeep
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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