just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
