Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
