slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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