do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
