Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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