We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
