i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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