HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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