i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
