If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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