i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
