I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
