I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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