I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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