is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
