Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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