We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
