the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
