shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
