accomplished twins. life is a go
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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