Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
