Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
