I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
