She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
