Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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