Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
