we have pet lesbian snakes
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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