I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
