He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
