I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
