I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
