But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
