so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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