That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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