Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
