I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
