you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
