We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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