wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
