dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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