do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
