She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
