jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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