If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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