well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
