hotel room ftw
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
