This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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