i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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