Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
