i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
